The 5 Secrets of Sexual Touch
Do you want to bring your man to the brink of nirvana and keep him dangling there in heavenly suspense until he begs for mercy?
The secret is knowing how to give him a series of allover tantalizing touches. Although every guy will have his own unique technique preferences for you to suss out, there are some underlying can't-go-wrong guidelines that will make any man mad with desire. "Anyone can learn how to touch a man, and if you start off knowing some basic principles, you can just follow his cues on how to turn his whole body into an erogenous zone," says Linda Sonntag, author of Sensational Sex . So here's how to master the basic must-know guy-groping methods -- we promise he'll worship you.
When in Doubt, Press Harder
The amount of hands-on pressure that would make you say "Ouch" will likely make him say "Ooooh, yeah." "Men's skin tends to be thicker, plus their nerve endings aren't as close to the skin's surface as women's are, so what might seem overly aggressive to you probably feels just right to him," according to Larry Costa, massage therapist and owner of the Life Is Beautiful Spa in New York City. So show him your strength -- on his back, for starters. Try kneeling beside him while you lean your body weight onto one closed fist pressed on his back, then rock your body back and forth.
This more-is-more mantra also applies down south, as Andrea, 23, learned. "Guys are always so protective of their whole groin area, like during sports, for example. I always thought of it as a really delicate spot! But one night, I was touching Dan, and he told me I could grip a little tighter. So I kept increasing the pressure until my fingers were locked around him. Even though I was afraid I was hurting him, he says that it feels incredible." It's okay to go for the firm hold, agrees Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., author of Erotic Massage . "Don't be afraid to go beyond using your fingertips. The penis shaft is usually more responsive to an encompassing full-hand hold."
Mix It Up
Want to keep his body from getting bored? "If one area gets too much stimulation, you become desensitized to the feeling," says Costa. It's easy to tell if he's had enough. "When he's responding fully, his skin will jump or the muscles will quiver slightly under your touch," explains Costa. "If he's completely still, that's your cue to move on for a few minutes before touching that place again."
Traci, 25, found that teasing her man's penis added to his excitement. "Of course, Clay loves for me to give him a hand job, but I found out that I can drive his excitement level way higher if I switch spots. I'll touch his penis enough for him to get worked up, then I'll stop that and start tracing my fingers down his stomach or up his lower legs. He says that when I finally get back to ground zero after my detour, he's twice as sensitive to my touch -- and twice as turned on."
Divvying up your manual moves between two different spots on his body is another way to double his pleasure. "Using each hand in a different place gives him an exciting, tantalizing feeling," says Sonntag. "Besides the simple fact that you're stimulating more nerve endings, the separate sensations also create twice the anticipation." Ellen, 23, employs this technique to give her guy a mock ménage à trois. "Whenever I give John oral sex, I touch him in different places around his body as well. I keep one hand either around his penis or touching his twins, and I use my other hand to scratch his inner thighs or stroke his butt. He says it feels like he's with two women at once!"
Arouse Him with Acupressure
According to the principles of the Chinese therapy of acupressure, the body is made up of meridians, a series of interconnected communication channels that run throughout your body. (For example, the spleen meridian runs from your big toe to your groin to your chest.) Each channel controls how well a specific system or organ works. Stimulate the muscles in any given channel, and the corresponding body parts will loosen and liven up as you increase blood flow to that zone. And while the main focus of this technique tends to be medical, you can skip the goals of treating headaches and indigestion and go straight for the penis payoff. "The spleen meridian has erotic qualities -- touching that area increases energy flow to the reproductive organs," says David Molony, Ph.D., licensed acupuncturist and executive director of the American Association of Oriental Medicine. To bring some life to his most carnal channel, apply constant pressure with the heel of your hand, smoothing his skin from the base of his big toe, along the top of his foot, and up the inside of his leg. When you get to his inner thighs, slow down and lighten your pressure to fingertips-only while you trace around his testicles, his tummy and end up on his chest.
Turn Him On with Give-and-Take
As much as your guy will groove on your randy hand skills, his experience isn't erotically complete until he gets his mitts on you. "It's infinitely more exciting for a man to be touched if he's touching his partner simultaneously," says Howard J. Ruppel Jr., Ph.D., chancellor of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. "For many men, just caressing your breasts is a turn-on unto itself." Plus, guys love to be active in the sack -- seeing that they're turning you on is one of their most basic sexual thrills, as Kelly, 24, found out. "Whenever I tried to make Jason lie back while I took control of pleasing him, he'd start squirming after two minutes, then roll over and grab me. Finally, I realized that if I straddled him and let him run his hands over my breasts and butt while I worked on him, he'd be happy to lie there forever!"
Approach the Big O Slowly
When you're on a randy roll, you don't want him to climax too quickly and call a halt to the proceedings (i.e., fall asleep) before you get any action in return! So when you sense that he's reaching his pleasure peak (thrusting hips, curling toes and sweating all indicate that he's close to climax), back off, slow down and lighten up. "First, completely stop touching him for 30 seconds or so," suggests Ruppel. "That's enough time for most men to lose the sense of urgency that they're about to climax." But once you've brought him back from the edge (he'll likely lie still and breathe more slowly), don't unplug his desire entirely.
Instead, this is the time to seek out his sweetest spot. Every man will have one secret, undiscovered hot zone that sends him through the roof. Finding out what turns your guy on can be a pleasure treasure hunt, explains Ruppel. Some surprising spots to try: the backs of his knees or neck, his nipples or the place where his arms and legs join his body.
Once you find and tickle that trigger enough to bring him this close to climax, drop everything to focus on what's a guaranteed home-run zone on every guy: his frenulum, the place on the underside of his penis where the foreskin attaches to the head. This ultrasensitive spot is like a male clitoris -- packed with nerve endings, it's a no-fail big-O instigator. Continue using the standard up-and-down motion, but with every stroke, add a little extra pressure from your fingers on his frenulum until he climaxes, suggests Stubbs. This method worked for Jane, 25. "When Andy is getting close to climaxing, I tease him by taking each stroke halfway up the shaft. But when he gets to the point where he can't take it anymore, I zone in on the ridge of his penis. He says that his climaxes are totally explosive!"
The Sexiest Strokes
Follow our manual to what feels good where.
Feet: Titillate his tootsies by stimulating their tightly packed nerves. Soak his feet in warm, soapy water, then slide your pinkie or index finger into the crease between his big and second toes and, twisting your hand from side to side in a "so-so" gesture, run your finger all the way into the V and back out. Repeat on each toe.
Thighs: The proximity to his penis makes this stroke superarousing. Facing his head, straddle his lower legs and, adding a drop of massage oil, place your hands on his thigh so one palm is above the other. Slide your hands all the way up his leg. When you hit his pelvis, move one hand to his inner thigh and one to his outer thigh, then pull your hands all the way back to his knees. Switch legs.
Butt: To totally relax his lower-body tension, look for the groove in the outer portions where his butt meets his leg. Straddle his legs and gradually press each of your knees into his derriere dents for one or two minutes.
Source: Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., certified massage therapist and author of Erotic Massage